Shatter, Kaleidoscope
by ireadeverything
Summary: The image splits into an infinite number of pieces, and then shatters. Any and all possible futures are discarded for this one. This one planet in this multiverse of ours. Read, and find inside the tale of where insanity goes to hell and meets Cave Johnson. Read the description for M ratings before hating me about it. Has lots of crossovers, but didn't know how to input that.
1. Chapter 1

Shatter, Kaleidoscope.

Prologue: Setting the stage.

**One Year Before the Grail War**

Ilyasveil von Einzbern, from here on out known as Ilya, was summoning her servant. She recited the chant, and was instantly met with the sign of success: a tug on her prana reserves.

And before her, HE appeared. The almighty berserker, Herakles.

The images scintillates, then fractures like a kaleidoscope, the pieces scattering to the winds. A new image takes its place: A second before HE appears, the catalyst vanished and was replaces with a lock of red hair.

The homunculi had no time to stop the already completed ritual, and a massive servant was summoned. But not Herakles. Because while this Servant was giant and extremely well muscled, he was not over 10 feet tall. Almost, but not quite.

Then berserker roared, his muscles rippling and his wild mane of red hair flailing wildly around his face. And instead of regular berserker noises, the cry that this one let out was different. While clearly not being able to say anything else, or even being in his right state of mind, the Servant managed to say one word.

**FFFOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!**

The Einzberns watched, astounded as the servant ate all of their supplies away. Supposedly Servants did not need food, but the insane servant seemed not to know that; he was eating several times his bodyweight in food.

Seeming to find this an appropriate pastime, the older members left the table wondering two, no make that three, actually four things. Two were just questions: where did he put all that food? Why wasn't he seemingly getting fatter?

The other two were raised after reading his information. What was his noble phantasm? It din't seem that intimidating, a fork and a knife? And also…

What kind of name is Toriko?

* * *

**Two Months Before the Grail War**

Bazette Fraga McRemitz frowned at her servant in front of her. He felt… wrong to her. He sat there in his black trench coat with luxurious lapels, with an expressionless face on. Why the hell had that stupid Kaleidoscope interfere with her summoning, anyway? She wanted Cu Chulainn, Goddammit!

_Timeskip Backwards to Last Night-_

_Bazette finished her summons,, excited to finally see her childhood hero, the famous hound of Ireland. And there he appeared, just as cool as she imagined._

_The image segments into indefinitely small squares, and then shatters._

_A new image shows the woman in front of a strange man, with an even stranger black spear on his back. The ornate spear seemed like it could sell for a lot under the right circumstances, if the buyer didn't min the strange II on the blade. The man was looking around the room with his cold, analytical eyes._

_"I have been summoned as Servant Lancer. I ask of you, are you my 'master?' "_

_Back to Current Timeframe-_

"Lancer. I have a question for you. What is your name?"

"Master, I feel as though I should not tell you that until you prove to be fairly adept to combat. If you were captured by an enemy who knows of me, they might be able to kill me if they can extract that information."

"Lancer. Tell me your identity. Now. I must know so that I can research your legend."

"Very well, though I still disagree with this course of action. My name is No. II, Belze."

* * *

**Edelfelt Mansion**

The kaleidoscope shatters yet again. This time revealing a young blonde woman, Luvia Edelfelt, and a… _very handsome_ red-haired man, with glasses.

"Servant! Tell me your name, class, and stats!"

Too used to being ordered around by females in his previous life, the Servant blushed, bowed his head, and stated "I have been summoned as Caster. My stats are (lists them off to Luvia) and I am 21 years old. My name is Negi Springfeild."

"Servant! Tell me why you are here and not great Medea, witch of Colchis!"

"I don't know. There was this strange man, called himself Zelretch. He told me that he was having fun."

Rin's summoning of Archer is the same as in cannon.

Sakura was summoning Medusa as Rider, when Zouken's worms notified him of Zelretch's prana suddenly appearing and disappearing inside of the circle. A quick glance before the flash of light had appeared proved his newly obtained suspicions correct. Where the legendary Medusa should be, there was a man. A well built man, with a strange transparent mask over the top half of his face, and a necklace with a… drill? Well, either way he would have to figure out how to exploit this new element.

The man was standing protectively in front of Sakura, his instincts apparently warning him of the danger that the old "man" could be. Not letting his guard down, he turned around and looked at Sakura (though he didn't know her name yet) and asked "Are you my master?" receiving a small, shaking bob of her head. He looked pleased and said "Don't fear, it's me! The manliest of all men!"

Zouken shook his head at the Servant's strange manner. The main good thing that would come out of this would be that it is always more easier to manipulate proud idiots then cold, ruthless murderers.

Archer was fighting with Lancer, who was definitely _not _Cu Chulainn. This person had a strange spear that spit out C-rank blasts with no effort, was unbreakable, and the man himself had a completely unruffled exterior. Not to mention that his suit and coat had minor protective abilities. Separate, D-rank. Together, closer to C-rank.

Lancer was musing to himself as he fought with the other warrior. He had already noticed his faster movement, greater strength, and better control over Gungiri. However, this opponent was not to be taken lightly, and his annoying swords kept rematerializing. Neither of them were getting anywhere.

In the middle of the pointless battle, Archer was wondering where his other self was. He had usually come a few minutes ag-

He and Lancer both turned their heads to the side as they heard a clattering. There they both saw a shell-shocked Emiya Shirou.

Archer took this opportunity; normally he let Lancer catch his younger self, but there was no reason not to this time. Why waste an opportunity when you can take it? Besides, apparently this Lancer did not get high off of blood…

* * *

**-At Shirou's "Workshop"-**

CLANG!

Shirou's eyes widened as the mysterious yet beautiful white blade coming to end his life was blocked. However, he could only know this from the sound, because there was a giant person in front of him.

"I… LOVE IT!" The Servant of the sword shouted maniacally as he swung Archer away, throwing him fifty feet into a wall head first.

_This isn't how it was supposed to go!_ thought Archer._ Arturia was supposed to be summoned, then be distracted by introducing herself to her master! And WHO IS THIS PERSON? His aura is completely different! So powerful, oppressing, and bloodlust-filled!_

"HA HA HAAA!" The Servant of the sword laughed maniacally again in his deep voice. "It's been TOO LONG since I've had a good fight!" He was shouting loudly, again, and still the happiness was evident in his voice. He was doing some kind of stretching while swinging his sword around maniacally. That sword… with a traditional grip, a small whisk-like guard, and rough blade. What kind of sword _is_ that?

As Archer was pretending to be fading in and out of consciousness, he was actually trying to trace his opponent's sword. But for some reason, he couldn't. Some… thing was blocking his way. He was not used to this. This feeling of blankness from a weapon he could easily see.

And that is when Saber started to become disappointed. "When I first came here I expected a lot of good, nice, exciting fights. What is this, though? Are you really so pathetic you can't even get up? YOU FAILURE!" And with that, he ripped off his eye patch. His already previously immense pressure now doubled, or tripled, or somewhere in between. All the while he was grinning maniacally. Then, turning around and looking at the immobile Shirou, he grinned and said "Brat, you're my master now. I am Saber. I will fight. You will not stop me." Then he turned back around and held his sword out toward the red-clad Archer. "You. Me. Fight. Now."

And that was when he appeared next to EMIYA **(notation for counter-guardian/Servant Shirou Emiya)**, leaving only a fading blur behind.

"Aaah, so my shunpo is still working! Good."

And with that, the monster-Saber slashed down at EMIYA's shocked form.

* * *

**New story!**

**Sure, check it out. I'm awesome. I'm making an actually **_**good**_** Fate/Stay night crossover with lots of other manga. Bow to me.**

**Everyone gets 1 point per review in which they identify the name and manga of the people I use.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Shatter, Kaleidoscope.

Chapter 1:

* * *

**So, so far quite a few people have 6 points, but kudos to I Know Stuff, the anonymous reviewer. ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

**-Emiya Residence, night-**

Just as Saber was about to slash Archer in half, the red-cloaked servant turned into the collective of vapor wisps known as a Servant's _spirit form_. Just in time to, because the slash bisected the ground where the Servant had previously fallen.

"Dammit! Where is he? I just wanted to have a little fun…" the eccentric servant shouted in what could be interpreted as a whine. "I just wanted to rough him up a little…"

"Emiya, tell your stupid servant to shut up!"

Shirou's head snapped up at the sound of his name, and was shocked to see a huffy Rin Tohsaka at the entrance to his backyard.

"Tell your Servant to shut up, I said! What do they teach you stupid people these days? Can't even control your own servant? _Such_ a third-rate magus. Did you know that was me you were attempting to put out of the war? Stupid…"

Shirou, in his shocked state, managed to obtain the composure required to ask of her "Rin, what the hell are you talking about? What do you mean, war? Servant? I don't like slavery…"

"Are you honestly saying you have no idea what's happening in this town? Tchhh… why does the one master who _might_ be able to help me have to be so stupid? This is the GRAIL WAR, dumbutt! Let me into your house and I'll tell you about it."

Shirou, still dazed, let Rin into his house, the now-subdued Servant following him. Picking his nose. With his sword. The tip actually entering the nostril. **(AN: That's not dangerous at all!)**

* * *

**-Emiya Residence: Inside-**

As Rin proceeded to explain the war to Shirou, the Servant of the Sword looked around the house; opening cabinets, drawers, doors, curtains, and other things.

"So you don't even how to check what the servant's stats are? Pathetic, even for you, Emiya."

"Please Rin, I haven't even had formal magic teaching yet… don't be so quick to"

"SILENCE, PUNY FOOL! DO NOT QUESTION ME!"

"Alrig…"

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

"Okay! I'll shut up!"

"Good! Now we can check your Servant's stats, Emiya. Now just open this book to this page, and look at the information!"

* * *

Servant Class: Saber

Name of Legend: Kenpa-h- Za-k-

Strength: B+

Endurance (Physical): B+

Endurance (Thaumaturgy): A-

Speed/Agility: C-

Swordsmanship: B

Thaumaturgy: E-

Shunpo: C-

_Allows user to briefly (1 second) travel at B+ ranked speeds. Exhausts user if used frequently._

Denial: D+

_Allows user to change laws of physics slightly, e.g. Cutting through unbreakable armor. At higher levels can cause series of unlikely events and circumstances that lead to exceptional results such as defeating gods._

Limiters: C+ (Per limiter)

_Limits power of servant in areas such as speed and strength. Shown values are with limiters. Each limiter removed will add proportional power depending on its strength. Currently has 5._

Bankai: A+

_Allows user to change form of sword into more powerful version. Gives exceptional powers._

Noble Phantasm: -

_Normally: C+ to B+ cutting power._

_In Bankai: -Not Yet Determined-_

Rin leaned back in her chair, slightly stunned by what she had just learned.

A strength of _B+_, while having 5 limiters on? What kind of monster _was_ Shirou's servant? How much power did he have with no limiters? A+ ? S- ? She shuddered at the thought. Her servant was very powerful, no doubt about it, but against this freak of nature? These stats, along with being of Saber class, made this Servant a highly likely candidate for the grail. Unfortunately.

* * *

**-Unidentified Location-**

The air cracked. It splintered, shattered, a void in space opening form thin air. And out popped a teenager.

Admittedly, one could not call this 19-year old youth a teen, but he had an air of immaturity that made it seem wrong to call him a young adult.

And the teen, surprised at suddenly falling out of the portal, landed beatifically flat on his face.

**-5 Minutes Later-**

"OW, goddamit that hurt! What was that Zel-RETCH guy even doing? Does he get his jollies from dropping guys out of holes, or what?"

His only answer was the hole dropping two books onto the speaker's face, and then promptly closing.

**-5 Minutes Later-**

"Ohhh… dammit, dude? What was that for? Why did you even give me these… these…" the person glances at the books "abominations! WHY, BOOKS? WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?"

After his small screaming fit, the teen/young-adult/man/person/thing looked down at the two books he had. An Idiot's Guide to the Grail War and Energies for Losers_._

He promptly sweatdropped. _Nice opinions you have of me, Zelretch. Whoever you are._

He had already been briefed on most of the information about the Grail War, so he decided to check out the book about energies. As he read, he noticed that it explained a lot about how his energies would be used in the environment of this world. **(Look in my Rules, Rants, Regulations, etc… "story", chapter 2 I'll include an in-depth look at how energies of different series connect to each other)**

But the most important thing that the silhouette realized was that he wasn't going to be able to go into - - because of the lack of - - in the world.

_DARNIT! I really wanted to be able to use it, then I could do everything easier._

He remembered what Zelretch had told him before he was dropped in:

_Flashback-_

_"Well, I have some news. You can decide whether it's good or bad. You normally prefer independent fights, right?" Zelretch asked his companion as they walked through a white blankness. He received a nod in response._

_"I was too fed up with waiting for the seventh servant to be summoned days late, so I'm going to screw around a little with your summoning. You remember what I told you about masters and servants, right?" He got another nod. "Well, I think I am going to summon you on time, but as your own master. You won't have to fight defensively to protect a Master, but you also won't have an extra head to plan with, or any firepower a master could give. Are you fine with this?"_

_Zelretch, upon seeing the figure nod again, smiled and opened up a portal in the intro-dimensional space they were inside of, sending the other human-ish creature into a world._

_-Flashback End_

"Aah… good times…" murmured the Servant. "Now what class am I? Assassin? How did _that_ happen? Though considering my profession while I was alive, I shouldn't be surprised. I guess killing targets _was _in the job description, though I was never exactly subtle…"

* * *

Omake: The Hungry Servant

Ilya looked on in awe as her Berserker destroyed some training dummies with his bare hands. He wasn't even trying. _Just how strong is he? I have to test him somehow… I know!" _The homunculus looked over at the mountains surrounding her castle of a home. She then quickly asked the elders for permission: this could result in a very bad outcome, though it was so unlikely… nah, there was no way.

"Berserker!" Ilya shouted to her monstrous Servant, gathering his (admittedly limited) attention. "If you can destroy that mountain over there in less than one minute, I'll double your food rations for a week!"

Berserker looked at her, and then asked in his amazingly loud voice **"FOOOOOODD?"** Then, the hulking beast of a man walked over to the mountain and cocked back his fist. Ilya felt a trickle of fear that he would actually succeed, but there was no way…

**"FURTOOFURRRLDDDD…..SPIKED PUNCH!"**

Ilya watched in amazement and fear as her servant moved his arm fast enough to make there seem to be fifty of them.

Then the mountain broke.

And in the toppling, humongous Mountain the Servant had just destroyed almost casually, Ilya saw the family's finances falling with it.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **

**DONE!**

**BAM!  
**

**Okay, so what did you think? Comment on who you think Assassin is!** **Hopefully I didn't make it **_**that**_** obvious.**

**So yeah, review, and also you should check up to see if I am editing my informational "story" soon. I will make sure to remember to put up how all internal and external powers relate to each other, but for now let me summarize:**

**They don't.**


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